Has the subject of getting married come up a lot lately? Does it seem like everyone is talking about when you should take the plunge except you? And while you like the idea of a fun and meaningful LDS wedding, you're just not sure that you are ready to make that sort of life long commitment. But how do you know when is best? Currently men marry at 27 on average; while for women its 25. Age, however, should not be the deciding factor in a decision to stop being a LDS Single and become a LDS Bride. Believe it or not the overwhelming feeling of soul searing love is also probably not a good reason to get hitched. The union of two people in matrimony is a serious responsibility and deciding if you are ready should be a serious undertaking.
Of course, most couples want that heady moment when one of them - still generally the man - proposes. However, before that event comes a couple should already have had deep discussions about important matters which will be central to their life together. Many people think of matrimony as a romantic event and focus a lot of attention on the wedding. But of course, the wedding celebration is only the beginning of spending your life together.
Many wise couples now choose to have counseling before they formally commit to each other so that any potential differences can be raised and dealt with beforehand. There are many issues which could potentially cause unhappiness in a marriage - money, beliefs, parenting, political views - and they need to be openly discussed in a calm way before they arise rather than uncovered in the heat of an argument. If the question of a long term commitment hasn't yet arisen in your relationship but you feel that is the path you are heading towards then rather than getting caught up in the giddy excitement of it all, take the opportunity to pause and reflect on your relationship. Think about how your beloved makes you feel, how supportive they are when things don't go well, and whether they encourage you to explore who you are. Consider too whether your beliefs on bedrock issues coincide.
Marriage is about more than a beautiful face or a sexy body. When it comes time to decide if your mutual children are going to public school or private religious school you might be surprised at how big an argument opposing thoughts can engender. Don't wait until your partner asks you to marry them before you think about whether they are the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Think about it now and start talking to them about the bigger life issues to see what their views are. Similarly don't ask your partner to marry you just because others are pressuring you to do so.
There is no magic age that guarantees you a happy and enduring marriage. Love is important in any marriage but for the union to last, there must also be a healthy dose of respect and trust.
J Brennan has tried a lot of different dating options and has learnt the hard way what works and what doesn't. Now through her website she is finally sharing her secrets and helping to take the confusion out of LDS dating